A life behind bars... Queering the quarantine ..

Hi people!

These bike blog updates are getting really few and far between, cos my riding isn't happening all that frequently of late.

When last I posted I was just getting to grips with the new steed, the S150 from Whyte. After a few more rides I decided the short 40mm stem was just too short for my ideal riding position. Although the S150 is designed with a more upright stance in mind when compared to Jonny, my old T130, I had to move the bars just a little bit forward.

So I got myself and shiny new 60mm stem ... and fitted it in December last year.

Then, as luck would have it, I never touched the bike until today because I decided to move house (AGAIN!) so that I could be nearer university and cut down on traveling. This consumed most of January. So February was "re org and recovery". "Great" thinks I "March and the light nights are coming so I'll ride to uni on Mojo (my cyclocross hybrid) and get out along the beaches" ....but then what do we get?  The shroud of the dark side.... COVID-19...

Uni shuts down... movements restricted.... advised to limit going out...

So here's me, fatter, now turned 45, and following the rules about social isolation... As we all should at times like these no matter how out doors-y we would rather be.

However .. long time readers may know of my history with depression, and how cycling has been huge part of my efforts in retaining or recovering sanity. Living for the better part of a decade with the twin issues of gender dysphoria, socio- economic isolation and the resultant depression has given me some specific tools and ideas in order to deal with hours alone. Necessity is, after all, the mother of invention.

That said ... I've never felt LESS alone since we all got so socially distant! Skype and FaceTime,  Facebook messenger. Everyone is now making efforts to stay in touch with those important to them. friends (and in some cases former ones) cross our minds and we begin to see how thin the veil is between existing and not.

It's an odd thought that when everyone is isolated, no one is. Because isolation is aloneness, and in these circumstances we all know we are not alone. That there are others feeling like we do.

This got me thinking . It reminded me of the early years of my realisations and eventual coming out as being trans, the way the internet and its ability to connect us with others can be transformative. Of course, me being a philosophical sociologist in training that could be a whole other blog in itself, but I mention it here not cos of the trans link. But because in building social networks we all build our sense of self and in so doing become able to place ourselves within a context.

It brings up the idea of finding your "people" and how situations can assist or otherwise in how we relate to people and they to us.

I've seen more compassion and kindness during isolation than in the months preceding it. Why? because the reason for isolation has brought into sharp focus the realisation that we are all connected to each other, each in our own way, and we all have one common goal. To know ourselves and to live as such.

Sure, we may do it differently, but the 8pm national applause for the NHS was an example of co-ordinated direct action to demonstrate shared appreciation. Ok we can get cynical about its effect, and point out that it wouldn't have been necessary had people exercised a little more wisdom and forethought. but to do so is to miss the point that it happened.

What we collectively do with this new found remembrance of our connectedness only time will tell but for now it is quite a hopeful thought.

So, in the spirit of connectedness if you (like moi) live on your own, here are my top tips for isolation station activity and thinking to keep you going:

1) We suffer more in imagination than in reality. (Seneca the younger) a stoic thought that I revisit often. Deal with how things are, not fears of how they may become. For they haven't done so yet.

 2) Set micro task deadlines. Small achievements through the day. These can be anything you wish. From house work to chores to uni or that Annoying bookshelf you've been meaning for fix for 6 months but never had time. The sense of accomplishment and completion is important. 

3) Look at what you have, and what this situation has given you. Yes there is fear and uncertainty... But many have more time, or space in which to think. Or a chance to talk with the kids or relatives. Anything, then use it. Plan. Look for the positives in your circumstance and leverage them. This might sound glib. But life will feel Ike what you fill it with. So avoid binge watching negativity Inthe news. Limit that exposure. 

4) Look up. The world is bigger than us. Feed the birds in your garden. Feed the stray cats. Do something that reminds you the world is bigger than human problems. 

5) "A situation is never as good or as bad a first reported" a quote from Chay Blyth, one half of a two man team who, along with John ridgeway, rowed the Atlantic. When asked by a reporter how they had done it, how they had beaten the ocean, he said, "We didn't beat her, she let us go" 

So I guess that all comes down to:

6) Control what you can. Plan for what you cannot. 


Being behind bars to escape the cage. 

I've been keeping fit and relatively active by lifting weights in the house and using my 15 meter yard to do short shuttle runs (any military types... you'll remember the days of the bleep tests) But I'd always planned to get out on the bike, so this morning, after a bit of advice on where to go from a friend, I decided to finally test ride the new stem with a short solo spin along the coastal promenade local to me.

It's annoying that all the months of inactivity have made my riding gear shrink by two sizes so it no longer fits. Hopefully if I do enough exercise the elves that live in the wardrobe drawer will alter it back to the right size for me soon. But I found a pair of cut off jeans that would suffice and off I went. I live just over a mile from the coast ... so this was a short tarmac spin and a bit of an explore.

I love the coast but oh boy is it windy! ... as the slide show suggests! The new 60mm stem works, but is still shorter than I'd like, however I'm also fatter than I'd like, so I'm leaving it be until I've got back to a fighting weight that doesn't include a belly with its own post code, because obviously thats affecting my riding position.

Theres some nice steep little (and I mean little) climbs and to be honest although my breathing and fitness is crap, I was pleasantly surprised that my legs didn't cave in. So now I have a short little route I can do with lots of detours off round chutes and transitions, grassy slopes and stuff. Kielder or Dalton forest it aint, but sometimes you just wanna ride to the end of the world and look out over the edge.

I did. and even though it wasn't technical or challenging, it was kinda nice. Stay safe people.

Sarah@stubbornlyoptimistic.me.

Test riding the new steed and an exercise in humility.

Hello all!

Well it's here! I picked up the bike last week and I decided to take it for a spin yesterday, on a couple of local routes near home to test things like seating position and reach etc.

I got myself a 2018 Whyte S150 in practically mint condition! 

So why the S150? Well I was originally looking for another Whyte T130 but since the geometry was tweaked back in 2016 with single chain ring specific design implemented across the range (Jonny 5 had the double chainring and longer stem being a 2015 model) I was pondering the merits of an older model, verse post 2016, and had also been wondering about the T129 maybe switching to 29ner wheels, for the longer mile munching. But then I'd never had a 29ner .. so I was little torn on choice.

Back in the days of working on bikes for a living I was quite taken with bikes like the Orbea Loki, since renamed the Laufey, and others that were using a 650B rim with a 3 inch tyre. This is probably because I'd worked on a few fat bikes, and I do live above the snow line, so occasionally the fat tyres would make sense. The 27.5+ seemed a good compromise. But it only snows maybe 4 months outta 12 and for the other 8 months I like my suspension etc so that would need two bikes yes?

Enter the S150.. and I was reading the spec and thinking "whats the S stand for?" when Whyte played a blinder .. The bike will take a 27.5+ wheelset with a 2.8 inch tyre as well as the 29ners that it's currently sat on, The S standing for "switch"

So, lemme gets this straight thinks I, 150mm rear travel, a 150mm Revelation fork up front that is by all accounts identical to the pike that was on my G150 a few years back save for a damper cartridge change and I can run two wheel sizes?

I'll have me some of that thinks I, since more or less every bike I've had over the years has had multiple wheels, even my old Santa Cruz Heckler X had two sets of hope hoops, one of em running continental 1 inch road tyres on a 26 inch (556) rim in the days before 650C was a widely known or available option. (unless you were Steve Worland)

So whats it like to ride? well the first thing to say is the stack and reach are such that the riding position is much more upright than the 2015 T130. It felt short when I first jumped on it, and I kept wanting to shift my rear back further than the saddle would let me, which was a little worrying and had me wondering if I shoulda looked for an XL. But after a while you settle in and knowing whytes geometry is usually pretty dialled, I figured a few rides will get muscle memory fitting to this frame rather than the old one.

That said the front end feels massive! That Tall 622 2.3 inch tyre up front has some weight when its rolling fast, and given my first ride out was on wet roads/trails It didn't feel as planted as I would like. This frameset has a custom fork trail of 42mm that should stabilise the steering at speed,  I'm waiting for dry grippy day to test that out ..

Although the bike feel short, the reach is actually only 5mm less than the old T130 and thats with a stem of 35mm and 15mm riser bar. I reckon the front end does need a tweak for me, which after a few dry rides will probably be 60mm stem and the removal of a few spacers in the head set stack, but thats it.

Caveat here, I hadn't ridden anything at all for over 2 years at this point, I'm very much overweight and out of condition to a point where I had to walk on some of my local trails that are usually just connections to the interesting bits. So my balance is shot, bike handling rusty, fitness in the toilet and confidence is therefore low. Once I got out and about I modified my planed route because I didn't think my planed descent was wise in the wet with rusty bike handling and zero fitness.

But aint that the point, get yourself an interesting bike and motivate your arse to get out, to ride, and put in the miles. To enjoy the process of getting fitter and then be able to enjoy the bike even more. I know even at this stage this a bike I'm gonna grow back into riding with, its more bike than I'll ever have the skills to outride. MTB is one of those things in life where you get out what you put in.

12 cogs out back!!! 

Drivetrain wise the 1x12 eagle is smooth, even in the lower gears, as I didn't even feel some gear changes and had to squint down at the wheel to make sure it had actually changed. The avid Guide twin pot stoppers were superb as ever, although the previous mechanics hadn't aligned the rear calliper all that well so it squealed a fair bit.

On the subject of drivetrain the bike runs the boost wheels, with 148mm between the rear dropouts. For an old school old timer like me who remembers the incredulous conversations and exclamation of surprise at moving from 7, to 8, 9 10 speed on a 135 mm frame this is bit nuts. A whole extra 13mm width at the back. But thats the best bit about getting older. You can say you were there before bikes were the new cool.

The suspension was, as expected , flawless. although 220 Psi in the rear is a bit softer than I remember... (nothing to do with being 4 stone heavier obvs...) Currently the bike is on tubeless tyres which is something I never did with Jonny 5 for reasons of cost and faff if puncturing when out, but time will tell and given the bigger wheel size I may stick with tubeless.

So after completing an underwhelming distance of 10km on the new steed whats the verdict? I love the bike, hate the fact I'm fat. But ya cant hide from the inevitable effect of 2 years sedentary inactivity. And even walking up the hills, I'm still lapping everyone on a sofa. Me and the S150 are going places. Literally. maybe slowly at first but thats ok.

See ya on the trail.

Sarah.

The countdown moves forward....

Hello!

So today I went to look at what I hoped was gonna be my new bike. I say hoped because it was being sold online by a guy who live quite a long way from me and, ever cautious I figured Better safe than sorry and off I went to check it out.

So I jump in the car and, with a few quid in one hand to leave a deposit, and tape measure in the other hand to check the head tube length and confirm size, since the sticker had been removed, head south for about 3hours.

And yay! the guy was on the level and yes the bike was there as advertised and it is a large frame so all is good.

Money changed hands and I have had a quick spin round the street ... so the new steed will be coming home to the north on or very shortly after the 14th of October...

On the drive home I was pondering a name but as ever these things tend to come out the first few rides.

Proper chuffed to be getting back in the saddle and really looking forward to hitting the local trails again to see how this bike feels compared to Johnny 5.

23 days and counting ,.,,

😀😀😀

Stay tuned ..
Sarah

Returning to the beginning...

Hello!

It's been a very very very long time since I wrote a few lines this here blog. The stubbornly optimistic one has a few more recent scribblings on it, and the optimisticality website keeps me busy these days.

However.. since I was last here quite a lot has happened.

SnS training is no more, and I've moved very much into the academic advocacy and political fields. I'm starting a masters course at my old uni (Sunderland) and very much looking forward to that. A lot has happened in the time since my last few scribbles here, but to summarise:

Firstly: I had to sell my Trusty T130.. and "Jonny 5" is now doing sterling service north of the border in Scotland for his new keeper.

Secondly: Having stopped riding due to other commitments, age and injury, and also simultaneously not running due to impact on knees, the inevitable happened.. I put weight on and got out of condition. (go figure)

However, things go full circle in life and I am in the middle of planning to get my paws on a new steed that I'm pretty excited about. I'm gonna keep the exact bike under wraps for a bit but I've never owned one quite like this and it should be interesting to ride the tracks that Jonny 5 and I put some strava times into and see where the comparisons are.

I also have my old classic retro build sitting in the house that just needs little bit of TLC for those more nostalgic rides.

My heckler x 1997 build. 

Sadly I had to move house unexpectedly and as a result I lost the awesome workshop and other classic frames I had acquired as part of my plans to create and film future projects, but life is for living, not collecting regrets, so all we can do is pedal onwards...

I of course plan to keep you guys up dated on how life goes and the ups and downs of riding again ...

The count down has begun ... I wonder where the trail may take me this time?

stay tuned !

The rear view mirror. A useful bit of kit on occasion.

Hey all you internet people.

So how you all doing? I'm gonna post today's random ramblings on both my blog titles, since I can't decide which one it best fits.

If ya haven't guessed it I have couple of opportunities in the offing over the coming weeks that may or may not result in a move of home.

I've been in my current house for just over 5 years. Not too long for some, but for me a life time, since the previous decade and a half saw me moving sooo many times I have lost count, with the longest period in one place being three years.

It's fair to say then that the prospect of moving after pretty much getting settled is ...well daunting.

Concurently with all this happening, I recently completed some work on my bike and rather than write reams about it I had video'd the process, vlogging the repair as I went. To do so I uploaded some of the videos to my youtube channel.

This use of youtube is where life started to wander off on a trip down "Nostalgia Avenue",  I found a you tuber that I had followed some years back..more to do with trans stuff than anything else, and she had returned after something a hiatus. She still had a few subscribers, myself amongst them, even after the long break...

A few years back I used to do ALOT of this you tube stuff, all to do with cars, nuts bolts, breaking and fixing things.

Sooooo.... had a look at some of my old videos, mostly to do with the automotive stuff and even after all this time there are still 40 subscribers still on there! (like what?) with one vid hitting something like 8k views... (ok ok hardly viral but y'know thats a fair few)

So, I've sat and wondered "what to do about that?" I mean I haven't exactly done much spannering on sports cars, since 2009, but I did put a whole new front suspension in my old van. Vanessa is a game old girl, 160,000 miles, tired, a bit rusty, but she stubbornly keeps going. One day I'd kinda like to tidy her up a bit, purely for my own amusement and honestly, cos she was bought for me by a family member in what were very difficult circumstances and taken me where i needed to be in tough times. Yeah yeah .. sentimental ..so sue me...

I am told a two lire lump from a cavalier might fit... petrol conversion.. wonder if anyone has ever put a combo van down the drag strip at Santa pod?

.....nah, but seriously it would be nice to perhaps be able to return in some way to my automotive antics. I'll aways be a bit of a JDM nut, but then again I've often fancied a VAG camper too...

Here's a bit of what i have previously got up to... back when I had more money and less hair...

After having to/deciding to get rid of the sports cars, which was, I have to say, a damn shame and frankly a stupid move, for a brief time i had new toy.. 2011 saw me playing with:

I can still remember the look on the faces of the others in the barrack block when I walked back in that day having been under sealing the bad boy... I mean c'mon, you don't seriously pay other people to do that shit do you? its waaaayy too much fun....

I also pissed off the RSM of the camp, who to be frank, had "big badge in a small world" syndrome, by leaving the truck in the "wrong place" I often wonder how he coped when he realised the real world outside his bubble will happily walk all over his "authoretay" ....probably ended up a traffic warden.. couldn't happen to a nicer twa...er guy... but whatever I digress...

Mind you I wasn't the only one playing with automotive toys back then... ... I had some partners in crime too... the guys I grew up with are a funny, lovable bunch...

ReTread.tv

Perhaps if things pan out, with this new possiblity, I may well resurrect the old "spanner monkey" you tube channel for a bit of petrol headed nonsense. I have hankering for the two wheeled variety.....

*ahem*..... BMW GS1150....*ahem*

Who knows?. But whatever the outcome, every now and then when the road ahead is uncertain, it can pay dividends to look in the rear view mirror and remember just where we have been. And more especially, how we got there in the first place.

I am however going to Vlog the road trip and parts of the two days in south wales. ..I mean .. cmon..why wouldn't you?

So keep ya eyes peeled people.. though I dunno what the title will be yet....

"The Spoken Sprocket" gets "stubbornly optimistic"....
"Road trip rambles"?
The "Sarah & Vanesa chronicles....."  ?
The Vanessa Vloggs?

Ok.. i'll stop now, don't want to turn into just another "pun"dit....tada!....

Till next time...

;-)